Dating after mastectomy
For women who have battled breast cancer and gotten a mastectomy, navigating the world of dating, after it’s all over or while it’s still happening, can be an extra challenge that they never expected they’d have to face.From rude questions to having to share intimate details about their body with someone who is practically a stranger, read what these five women say about what dating has been like after their mastectomy.
After my tumor was removed, I chose to have a double mastectomy.As I moved forward with a few first dates, there was great relief when none of them led to a second. This is not a story about my online dating experiences.However, there was a turning point when my nipple-less breasts brought an evening to a standstill.From the minute I decided to look for a relationship, finding a man who would be okay with my breasts was paramount on my mind.I’d read and re-read profiles, trying to determine if I could find some clue deeming the man was sensitive enough to learn about my breast cancer journey, but also not looking for physical perfection in a woman.We took things pretty slowly, but when we finally decided to get intimate, I had a hard time accepting my body, and figuring out how to lose myself in the romance.
I was very self conscious and wouldn't allow him to look or touch be from the waist up. It took me four years, and the help of a support group I joined of women going through something similar, to get back out there.
"I found out I had breast cancer when I was 47, just three years after I had gotten divorced, and just a few months before I gave in and decided to try online dating.
When I found out I had breast cancer, I Immediately decided to write that on my profile.
Losing a breast (or two) exposes you to a vulnerability you have never known. I was left with the questions I have pondered more then I care to admit – will he find me attractive, will he be aroused, will he touch them?
Despite your warrior attitude, that vulnerability will rear its ugly head — in the way you perceive yourself, in relationships, and in the defensive barriers you build around you. A couple years after my marriage ended, I knew I was ready to find companionship and turned to online dating.
After all, one in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer (albeit, not all have a mastectomy).