As we said above, chemistry can take time, and dismissing a perfectly nice person off the back of a couple of hours you spent together could be a mistake. Imagine you spot someone across the room at a party and find yourself thinking ‘wow, they’re attractive!However, if by the second or third date you can’t see yourself holding your date’s hand, or kissing them, then you should probably reassess the situation. ’ Does that mean that when you walk over to talk to them you’ll instantly hit it off?
The big question we often get asked is about how long you should you wait to feel it.If you’ve been on several dates with someone and you’re just not feeling the chemistry then it’s probably time to cut your losses.That said, don’t expect a first date to be crackling with great chemistry.And I am sure you are wondering, why does their relationship come so naturally while I have to work so hard at mine?Well, all relationships are different and have parts that come more easily, and parts that require more effort.Should it be instantaneous, or will it develop over time?
How do you get the balance right between not dismissing someone outright without wasting time going on lots of dates with someone with whom you have no spark?
About Lori: Lori is a relationship expert and matchmaker who has volunteered as a senior matchmaker for She makes herself available day and night to field questions and share advice on anything and everything, spanning from texting etiquette to proposal planning, and everything in between.
Lori has been consulted by and featured in the NY Post, The New York Times Magazine, Martha Stewart Weddings, Glamour, MSN, Bustle, Women’s Health, Philly.com, Brides, Huffington Post, Ask Men and more (
Lori has also consulted for Fortune 500 companies on Human Resources issues and has served as Scholar in Residence in Synagogues and Universities nationwide.
In addition to matchmaking, professionally, Lori was elected to public office in Massachusetts in 2009 and previously worked for MSNBC in New York City and NBC News in Boston. in Finance and Management from Fordham University in 2008 and Masters Certificate at the Juilliard School in Dalcroze Pedagogy and Piano.
You don’t need to make a decision so early on whether or not this is “the one.” Take your time – there is no rush.