Dating for two years relationships
We both have been seeing counselors separately and we have gone to couples counseling together.My worry is that after going to my counselor for a while I have realized that I am co-dependent.
Personally, I would see this as an end to the relationship.It normally manifested between her relying on emotional and financial support from her mom, but in many ways I was the one emotionally supporting her and making her feel comfortable.She has said that she wanted to talk about the future before she would feel ready to commit.She also hasn't offered to let me stay at her place over the last three weekends because she had to study/go out with friends/go shopping etc.It is things like that which make me not trust her when she says she wants to marry me someday.On her end I think she is very insecure and afraid of commitment.
Her parents were divorced when she was young and I don't think she ever dealt with that trauma as an adult.
Being co-dependent I fed into her insecurity during most of our relationship and supported her in a way that made both her and me feel good.
I have asked her to talk to her counselor about her deeper insecurity issue, but she is defensive and she believes her insecurity lies in the things that I have done (she says I don't tell her she is pretty enough, I don't tell her I love her enough etc.) and that it is not due to anything deeper.
asked, why would you be surprised that it hasn't gotten better? Morrison's advice and "to take it easy/take it as it comes/don't move too fast/hey you want your love to last..."I never want a divorce and I would never want her to accept my proposal if it didn't seem right.
My worry is that if it doesn't seem right now, will it ever seem right.
her reasons for not wanting to get married seem odd, but if she's not ready, she's just not ready.