Dating verse courtship
I am not proposing that you build an impenetrable wall around your heart, but that you guard it with prudence.We can wrestle over the terms “courtship” and “dating,” but the essential thing is to glorify God and act wisely.
If we spend every waking hour tucked away in private gazing into our sweetheart’s eyes, we will never find out who they are.But back before the car, the reason why a man would invest time with a woman was to see if she was a potential marriage partner.The reason he expressed romantic interest was to woo her toward that lifelong commitment.Not only does it honor the parents, it also helps you get to know the family that you may one day join.Finally–and this may be a real eye-opener: How this person treats his or her family will likely be how he or she treats you when the feelings taper off.We should be intent on finding out if it is the Lord’s will for us to be with a certain person, and until we are ready to move in the direction of marriage, what is the point of committing to another?
Some may retort that this is all too serious, but should we be giving our hearts away to people who are in no position to make a real commitment?
Find a member of the same sex that you look up to, and go to him or her for guidance in your relationships.
As Proverbs says, “Without counsel plans go wrong, but with many advisers they succeed” (Prov. There is also a great deal of wisdom in spending time together with the other person’s family.
Either way, I suggest a return to the principles of courtship.
When I first heard of the resurgence of Christian courtship, I was skeptical. So if I want to spend time with a girl, I have to arrange for our families to go to a pumpkin patch together, followed by an exciting evening of board games, and then go home by seven.
It is not uncommon that by the time a person is married, he feels like he has already been through five divorces. Am I supposed to shelter myself, put walls around my heart, and forget having a social life? The alternative is to rethink the way we approach relationships.