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Married affair discreet dating

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But cultural attitudes have clearly shifted towards acceptance of affairs.They're seen as a lifestyle choice; an option for men and women yearning for excitement or intimacy that's lacking or has dulled during a marriage.

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Based on my work, I have found six types of affairs that people have today. It can feel really intense, but it's also the quickest to flame out. An example is a person who's able to feel sexually alive and free only in a secret relationship, hidden from the imagined hovering, inhibiting eye of one's parent, which the person may experience unconsciously with his or her spouse.But she couldn't create a solution, nor figure out how to deal with her desire for revenge.She knew that "getting back" at her husband wasn't going to produce empowerment or healing, but nevertheless began a disastrous affair.Safe and discreet, a perfect solution for me." She decided it was a rational alternative to the disruption of divorce.Of course, the public always enjoys being titillated with stories of the affairs of public figures, especially when hypocrisy is exposed.George began by telling me that, "She was standing off by herself during a conference break, leaning against a wall, sipping coffee.

"As I walked by, our eyes met and I felt a sudden jolt—a rush of energy, real connection.

People make their choices, but I think a non-judgmental description of these six kinds of affairs (but with a tinge of humor) can help people deal with them with greater awareness and responsibility. John and Kim met through work and felt a strong physical attraction. The lust affair is often short-lived, and passion can slide downhill pretty fast as the excitement declines or under-riding emotional issues surface again.

It can also fade if the lovers discover that there wasn't much connecting them beyond sex.

They spoke on the phone frequently and lingered around after working on the project.

Soon they realized that a very intimate and emotionally close bond had developed.

I find that people in this kind of affair find something in each other that's lacking in their "real" relationship, and they're not dealing with that.